Introvert Life Isn’t Always Glamorous

Lately, it’s become quite fashionable to be an introvert.

Many people think that being an introvert implies that you like to read profound intellectual books and that you have a fascinating inner well of creative insight and great taste in sweaters. You’re sensitive and special and thoughtful and fascinating and kind of sexy.

Indeed, being an introvert can be all of these things. But it can also have a dark side.

Allow me to explain.

First off, let me start by saying that I like people. I enjoy going out. I’m not ‘antisocial’ or even ‘unsocial’. I like to attend parties and make new friends and have conversations and be out in the world.

To a point.

And then, suddenly, I get overloaded. A switch will go off and I just absolutely can’t take anymore. I morph from being a happy, gregarious 20-something woman into an irritable 50 year old Irish man who just wants to sit alone and read the Sunday paper and have a goddamn cigarette without his wife hassling him about the holes in his favorite wool vest.

My sister, a fellow introvert, often experiences the same phenomenon. We call it The O’Monaghan Transition Point.

After the transformation into O’Monaghan, things can be hard to manage. He becomes difficult to control. He just wants a damn whiskey. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone anymore and he doesn’t want to make plans for next weekend. He’s starting to hate everyone. He wants everyone to shut up, just shut up and stop nagging me.

Just leave me alone with me damn drink, will ya? Credit: К.Артём
Just leave me alone with me damn drink, will ya?
Credit: К.Артём

If I don’t carefully monitor my O’Monaghan levels, I’ll end up alone with no friends.

It’s a real problem.

Statistically, about half of all Americans are introverts. That means there could be O’Monaghans everywhere, all around you.  Many of them may not even realize what they truly are…until it’s too late.

Obviously, it’s pretty important to know if you’re an introvert so that you have a chance to prepare as best you can for a potential O’Monaghan meltdown. Here’s a very short (and completely unscientific) quiz to help you figure yourself out:

Do you feel secretly happy when an event is cancelled, even if it might have been kind of fun, because now you can just chill and maybe get an iced coffee and do whatever the hell you want?

Does staying home on a Friday night with a bowl of pasta and your favorite show sound totally fantastic to you?

Is self-checkout the best invention EVER?

After being in social situations, even if you had a great time, do you feel like you kind of want to just lie down on a mossy stream bank in the middle of a forest and recharge for a while?

Do you sometimes just need to sit quietly?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, you’re probably an introvert. If you said yes to all of them…then you definitely are. Welcome to the club!

Hopefully, for your sake, you don’t have an irritable alter ego like O’Monaghan. And if you do, may God be with you.

Now, would you please just leave me alone with so I can have a moment of peace?

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